What are the potential effects of global warming in terms of climate change and how they can be arrested?
29th August 2005, a devastating day for residents of New Orland, U.S as their homeland had been damaged by the evil Hurricane Katrina. This incident, on the other hand, had signaled mankind of the earth that they are receiving the consequences of what they had done to the earth which caused global warming. Generally, global warming is caused by a phenomenon which is greenhouse effect. According to scientists, it is good to have greenhouse effect as it help to keep our earth warm but the industrial development nowadays has gradually increase the amount of carbon dioxide emitted into the air, causing erratic climate change (Chris Woodford 2006). Certainly, the effects of global warming are unavoidable and thus immediate actions should be taken to resolve the problem.
Firstly, the potential effect of global warming in terms of climate change is the rise of sea level. Increase in world temperature warms up the earth, subsequently; ocean warms up too causing water to expand. Finally, the ocean water takes up more volume and sea level rises undoubtedly (Chris Woodford 2006). Besides, North and South Poles are also warming dramatically, surging the melting of ice shelves. According to Al Gore in a 2007 film named The Inconvenient Truth, if ices on Greenland melt completely, water will cover the low-lying places. Cities like New York, Calcutta, Beijing and Shanghai will be awash in sea water while Netherland will be demolished entirely. To summarize, global warming is causing sea level to rise and the topographical change of earth.
Other potential effect of global warming will be the damage of natural ecosystem including the loss of lives and species. Extreme weather which is unpredictable has led to series of mishaps such as tornados, hurricanes and typhoons. These disasters have took away millions of lives and caused a huge damage of civilian properties. Furthermore, climate change will put plants and animals in jeopardy. For instance, parts of coral reefs have been killed affecting ecosystems that depend on them. New-breed vectors of diseases are predicted to spread much further. The fatal diseases such as SARS and Avian Flu have caused catastrophes on earth (Chris Woodford 2006). In brief, global warming in terms of climate change has shows disastrous effects on the ecosystem of earth.
Al Gore in the film An Inconvenient Truth said, “Each one of us is the cause of global warming but we can make choices to change that.” Hence, solutions should be implemented in addressing global warming. Prior to that, carbon emission must be reduced by all means. Carbon tax established in some developed countries is a good way to start it. The ways in reducing global warming are using energy efficient appliances, hybrid cars; practicing recycle, car-pulling; planting trees and weatherizing houses. Walk or ride bicycle will be a better way. Another requirement is to possess political will where government should support the Kyoto Protocol, an international climate-change treaty. Overall, determination is the keyword in making these efforts to be successful.
In conclusion, rise of sea level, change of global topographic, damage of ecosystem and species lost will be deteriorated as long as the problem of global warming exists. Once global warming is not addressed, we will be receiving the consequences. Therefore, concrete ongoing initiatives are needed in tackling global warming before it goes uncontrollable. “If you believe in prayer, pray that people will find the strength to change,” (An Inconvenient Truth 2007), we should not forget to protect our mother earth just to accumulate wealth as there won’t be affluence without earth.
You finished it ady! >.< Envy~
ReplyDeleteOh, when we're doing the citation, I thought we only need to write the surname + year only? Not the full name? Like (Woordford, 2006) instead of (Chris Woodford, 2006)
actually i have no idea about the correct way of citation. hehe^^
ReplyDeletethanks for the reminder=]
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ReplyDelete1. You have a very interesting opening to start the essay, telling the readers that disasters (in this case is hurricane) are becoming wilder, which indirectly tells them that global warming is getting worse. However, this sentence is not clear enough to inform readers about what are you going to write because it does not contain the word “global warming” or anything related to it. I don’t know whether this is accepted, and I know this way of writing an introductory sentence is very eye-capturing. Therefore, if it is accepted, just remain. I don’t see any problem. I just afraid that this sentence does not fulfill the requirement of “introduces the subject matter and the controlling idea” that stated in this question. If this happens, I suggest that you insert the word “global warming” into the sentence, i.e. relate the sentence to global warming, mainly about HOW WORSE IT IS (like creating disasters that you mentioned), WHY IT IS WORSE (what causes global warming to happen), or WHAT GLOBAL WARMING MEANS TO HUMAN NOW. *NOTE: these are just suggestions.
ReplyDelete2. Yes, the thesis statement is clear and connected to all the topic sentences of the body paragraphs. However, I just feel like if the effects are unavoidable, then why are actions needed? (I know I am very fastidious) Maybe you can restructure the sentence or use other more appropriate words to make it more solid.
3. 1st body paragraph: You explained how sea level rises and the potential effects of it. You gave examples of the effects mentioned in the sources. Well-organized. But I suggest you can write more about the effects part to show readers how serious the problem is.
2nd body paragraph: Does not talk much about species loss and extinction, only coral reefs part. Hurricanes, tornados and typhoons, vector diseases all that sound affect human beings and properties more. You can talk more about examples of damage to plants and animals to support your topic sentence, because your topic sentence is NATURAL ECOSYSTEM which should emphasize on plants and animals also.
3rd body paragraph: Interesting topic sentence to start. I think using quotation to be topic sentence is okay. However, the examples you gave are written in quite a messy way. I suggest you to re-organize them (I don’t mean the examples are wrong). Just the structure of the sentences need to be better.
4. In second paragraph, “if ices on Greenland melt COMPLETELY” and “Netherland will be demolished ENTIRELY” sound quite harsh and risky to conclude the facts. Change to a more secure way to write is better. In fourth paragraph, one of the solutions is about carbon tax. I don’t know which source mentions about carbon tax. Maybe I didn’t realize it.
5. In third paragraph, I think readers need to be informed why new diseases are predicted to be more serious and why vectors and breed more, as you did not relate it to global warming. In addition, the sentence “SARS and Avian Flu have caused catastrophes on earth” is not very clear as the word catastrophes covers a wide range of incidence. You can further illustrate the of those catastrophes situation more.
6. Yes. The conclusion summarizes all the main points. All the sentences are clear. But I suggest you summarize all the main points in a more detailed way, maybe just add one or two sentences after you mention about the potential effects. Other than that, other sentences are good enough.
7. In your third paragraph, I thought the examples of damaging ecosystem that you gave come from the speech of Albert Gore in the film An Inconvenient Truth? And in the fourth paragraph, do all the examples come from the same resources? I suggest maybe you can mix other examples from other sources. AND give citation better, because I don’t see any citation in that paragraph. In your last paragraph, the citation (An Inconvenient Truth, 2007), I don’t think it is appropriate. Check it out better.
8. 1st paragraph: had signaled – has signaled (not sure, because if it is general, then it must be “has”, if you treat it as past, then it is “had”), mankind of the earth (a bit weird), which caused global warming (maybe can just put a dash, [-] global warming), which is greenhouse effect - a phenomenon [called] greenhouse effect, it help – it helps, has gradually increase – has gradually increased.
ReplyDelete2nd paragraph: there is a [;] after subsequently, I don’t know whether it is suitable. The word “finally” can be changed to “as a result” or other, because finally sounds like ending something. The word “awash” is an adjective (after I check the dictionary), but your “will be awash” seems like it is a verb (I REALLY NOT SURE ABOUT THIS), last sentence: causing sea level to rise and topographical change (2 different structures of phrases, if linked by “and” then seems weird).
3rd paragraph: other potential effect – another potential effect, have took – have taken, have been killed [,] affecting ecosystems that depend on them, has shows – has showed/shown.
4th paragraph: to start it – to start (no need “it” also okay), practicing recycle [AND] car-pulling – [carpooling] (or separated I don’t know), planting trees and weatherizing houses (should be separated because houses can’t be planted, maybe [and setting up weatherizing houses] will be better), last sentence: in making these efforts to be successful (if you use “in making”, then “to be successful” is weird, maybe [in making these efforts to a success] or other).
5th paragraph: species lost – species loss. The next sentence: I suggest: we will be receiving [more and more]… (or better sentence), won’t – will not/would not.
9. You did not include information from the website http://earthobservatory.nasa.gov/Features/GlobalWarming/global_warming_update.php (I know it was my fault). Try to use information from all the sources.
10. The way you start off your essay is very special and make people have good impression. I learn the word “awash” from you. And I like the sentence “concrete ongoing initiatives are needed in tackling global warming before it goes uncontrollable” and the phrase “series of mishaps”. By the way, put more attention on the structure of your essay, be more compact, and make every sentence like link to each other, that will flow better. Furthermore, insert more statistical data and examples to support your points and make them more concrete. Overall, your essay is short and precise. You don’t have the problem of exceeding word limit. In fact you can even add more sentences.